Stop WAITING to Adopt
I frequently lead adoption advertising and networking workshops for prospective adoptive families and about 15 minutes into a workshop I sometimes ask the attendees to raise their hand if they are waiting to adopt. I always get some funny (and concerned) looks. I know what they’re thinking. “Why would I be here if I weren’t looking to adopt?” Within a few seconds though everyone typically raises his or her hand. Then the fun begins.
I ask them what waiting means. People quickly yell out answers such as “doing nothing,” “standing still,” and “sitting around.” Then I tell them that it’s actually worse than that. The word “waiting” actually means: “Remaining inactive in one place while expecting something.” Not only are you doing nothing, but you’re expecting something. Ouch.
If your agency or attorney is showing your adoption profile to prospective birth families and you are not doing anything else to make your adoption dreams come true, then you truly are waiting.
Some families choose this approach. It’s easier, right? They pick an adoption professional, pay their fee, and sit and wait. These families are at a disadvantage, however, when compared to those who are more proactive in their search for birth families.
Don’t get me wrong. Having an agency or attorney working hard on your behalf to locate suitable birth families is a fantastic approach, but if that is the only strategy you are following then you are likely missing opportunities to find your future child’s birth family.
Adoption advertising and networking are for those who want to work hard to build their family. They are for families who hope their agency or attorney will find a suitable birth family for them, but who are not putting all of their eggs in that one basket. They are for families who believe that hard work and a positive attitude create opportunities for success.
If your goal is to adopt, why wait around when you can take action and work toward your goal? If your goal was to find a new job would you simply hire a recruiter or put your resume on Monster.com and then just sit and wait for the phone to ring? Of course not. You would strengthen your resume, research companies, prepare for interviews, and most importantly, network with friends and family and market yourself to increase the odds of making that one connection that will lead to your next job. You don’t know what that connection will be ahead of time, but you know that the harder you work, the faster you will find success. Adoption works the same way.
Given its monumental importance, shouldn’t you work even harder to build your family through adoption than you would to find a new job?
It is time to stop waiting for something to happen and instead to start making it happen.
